late at night

I'm lying here in bed with Benjamin snoring lightly beside me (Chris is recovering from the flu on the couch) and Kennedy in her crib saying 'hi'. It is so hard not to talk to her because that smile just draws me in and makes me want to talk to her. She's been asleep a couple of hours, but woke up and saw me on the laptop and wants to talk. When I tell her to 'go night-night' or lay down, she does lay down, which amazes me.

I was telling Benjamin before bed that I loved him and that he is my Best Boy and he told me that I am his Best Mom. So sweet, that boy... I went a little further tonight and told him that I always wanted to be the best mommy to him and that every night I vow to be a better mom tomorrow. I yearn to yell less, be more patient, take more time to enjoy the little moments. Gosh I hope I can REALLY do those things tomorrow! I was reading a blog post earlier that talked of enjoying those moments and of the pain the poster felt when she thought back to her kids early days and how she often wished the time away (for them to go to bed or for them to just leave her alone). We ALL do that and I don't think it is such a horrible thing every once in a while, but I don't want to wish so much of it away. I hate the feeling of trying to shoo my kids away because I'm trying to clean (you'd never guess that happens if you see my house, which makes it all the worse - I'm not actually accomplishing much!) or want to check my blogs (how absurd is that -- shooing kids away to read about other mommy bloggers' days!). Anyway - I WILL continue to enjoy my kids. I do know that someday they won't beg me to play with them. I'm going to vow to say YES when I'm asked to do something instead of put them off. Benjamin is so patient with me - always taking my 'later' answer at face value without whining about it or calling me on it later if I let him down. Ugh! That makes me tear up to admit how often I put him off. I'm hoping that typing it out here will help me deal with it better in the future.

Some random things I've been meaning to document for a while:

Kennedy is THE BEST nose blower EVER. Benjamin can JUST NOW (almost 6) blow his nose. He's literally never been able to get anything to come out. He could not physically complete a nose blow. Kennedy (now 16 mths) has been doing it WELL for months. She is so funny when she blows her nose into her HAND when she doesn't have a tissue. And she ALWAYS blows when you hold a tissue up --- even when we're just trying to wipe her nose.

Everyone has been a bit snotty in the house this week except Hannah, who was on Spring Break. I've had a stupid cough for a couple of weeks, Benjamin and Kenndy have been snotty/feverish, and Chris must have the flu. Today is the first day in about 4 that he has even been able to stand. I made fun of his moaning for a couple of days (and showed him the 'man cold' video about a man calling the ambulance for a cold and the paramedics making his wife feel bad about not taking his cold seriously -- so funny) but I stopped that a couple of days ago when I realized it was serious.

Benjamin is an AMAZING reader! I have been amazed at his abilities because I didn't expect reading to come so fast - but I just assumed that I didn't know how to put it into context and that this was now standard Kindergarten curriculum. However, I found out that not everyone his age IS reading this well. He is now pulled out a couple of days a week to read with a special reading group with 3 other Kindergarteners to read. I was stopped 3 times on open house night for his teacher, assistant teacher, and reading group leader to tell me what a great job he's doing. I think I've been obnoxiously mentioning to everyone I can since then. I'm just SO happy that school seems to be coming so easy to him. I'd like to think it it genetic because school came easy to both Chris and myself. One of the teachers was amazed because that week he had read the word 'knock' without any prompting from her. She was shocked that he sounded it out and knew that the k was silent. That is MY BOY!! Also, apparently he is one of the best behaved kids in his class. Ms. Donna said he was one of her best (maybe she says that to all parents...). I'm not surprised about that because he was always good in Pre-K and is just usually well behaved in groups and with other adults. He errs on the side of being quiet and a bit timid sometimes. After knowing about this reading progress, I decided that I have a GENIUS on my hands and that he's going to be gifted and ahead of his class in all subjects (I know, it is obnoxious) - so I bought him two workbooks about what every 1st grader should know about Math and Phonics. We've been going through the books and he just GETS it all. It is no struggle for him to understand the concepts whatsoever. Tonight we did FRACTIONS! I know he is only in Kindergarten and it is jumping the gun to assume it will always come this easy, but I feel so blessed that he absorbs things so well because it is NO WORK FOR ME. He brings home a reading workbook a couple of times a week (way beyong SEE DICK RUN type) and just reads right through it - I don't even have to sit down with him. I never asked him to read himself from our books at home because I just assumed that he couldn't read them. So, when I realized his reading skills I've had him read a couple of books out loud every night and he just DOES IT. No problems, no confusion at all. He just reads like it is no big deal. I'm probably making too much of this here -- but I just want to remember how awesome he is now when I look back years from now and I've forgotten what it was like to see him learning like this. I know all stages will have some amazement, but reading is a big one....

That is all for now. I'm going to do my photoshop class homework (class starts Tues). I can' wait to get better at editing photos.

I'm going to do better about posting more often THIS TIME. I have got to do that so I'll have these memories documented!!